It has been a while that I have written a blogpost. It is one of the things that I enjoy doing but it never seems to be on top of my priority list. As other activities always ask my attention first. Client sessions, administration tasks, taking care of my boys. These activities are in the category urgent & important. I seem not to be able to dedicate time to the not urgent important activities.
I see that I am not the only one facing that challenge. My clients face it, my friends and many others. We pay mainly attention to the things that are important and urgent but less time to those things we find important and not urgent. These terms come from Stephen Covey and he uses these terms for managing your time in an effective way. you can read more about this in his book: "7 habits of highly effective people."
I do not use it in terms of being effective or productive. I use it more in gaining clarity on where we spend our time on. As time is a very precious ingredient. We tend to spend our time on all the things that we write down as TO DO. I bet you have a to do list also.
It is good to be organized and structured and getting things done. But how much of the items on your to do list are nourishing? How much of the activities on your to do list do feel fulfilling or nurturing?
A month ago I gave a workshop about "Create Purpose Now". And "The Motherhood Project" organized it. It was their best event ever visited. 37 women were sitting in a beautiful room at the Hoxton hotel in Amsterdam, all expecting to receive tips and steps to create that so longed sense of purpose.
Well, I had to disappoint them a bit because creating purpose is not a goal in itself. It is an approach to life and to experience purpose or fulfillment is in my experience to create alignment with yourself and from there you can create a life and career that is fulfilling.
We cannot find purpose or fulfillment in a job, relationship or foreign country if we do not give attention to our wants and needs, our feelings, our shadow and our light. We need to first focus on ourselves, to become our best friend, getting to know ourselves better to serve what we need.
To get to know yourself we need to dedicate time to ourselves. Or develop activities that are nourishing. It can be small or big, I call it "Acts of love".
What kind of act of love can you dedicate to yourself today?
This is my act of love and I mainly do it on wednesdag morning. The morning I dedicate to myself. I do not take care of the household. I do not dedicate time to my to do's. What I do is: I buy flowers for myself and put on a scented candle. I listen to a good playlist of spotify and journal in my diary. It nourishes me, as I hear nourishing sounds, I smell nourishing scents and I start to feel recharged AND I feel inspiration.
These acts of love create a moment of inspiration and creation and from that place I start to write down my thoughts and feelings. I feel connected with myself and ready to pick up my children from school that day. The rest of the afternoon there is much more peace and quiet with the children and I spend quality time with them.
There is a catch. The catch is that you have to do something to create these moments of nourishment. Here are some suggestions that helped me to be able to create purposeful moments.
- Start with 1 moment during the week where you dedicate a nourishing activity for yourself.
This can be an evening, a morning or during the weekend. You pick a moment.
- Think about an activity that you wish to do for yourself. Can be painting, writing, reading, crafting, walking, listen to music, having a bath, meditation, yoga, breathing, singing mantras etc.
- Dedicate minimum an hour for yourself and do not let anything disturb you during that period of time. So shut down your phone from interruptions or other triggers that can disturb you.
Spending quality time with yourself helps you to find out what nourishes you. That creates alignment to be able to feel purpose, flow and ease in your life. And do not get me wrong this sentence is a process and it takes time and dedication. If you find it important to create purpose then commit to it for yourself.
Remember: life is not a rehearsal, it is for real. you are allowed to shine and have fun and flow in your life.
Would love to know what you do to nourish yourself. Please use the sections of the comments below. Or feel free to connect with me here.